101 Ways to Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talk ...continue Set as my Away
Twas the night before Christmas, In Vegas no qualms.
Paris Hilton was banging some guy at the Palms
Then Courtney Love flew in her private charter sleigh,
A landing so perfect, her armtracks led the way.
There's Anna Nicole in great shape, she's hiking in,
with bottles of Trimspa and buckets of Vicadin.
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directi ...continue Set as my Away
Today we salute you, stressed out college student, during exam week. As you sit in your lonely cubical in the library, doped up on Starbucks & Aderol, you think to yourself, 'am I ever going to need to know this stuff in life?' The distractions are tempting and you have suddenly diagnosed yourself with ADD along with advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. I'm sure b ...continue Set as my Away
It's baaaaack! Valentine's Day - as well as Lunar New Year - is just around the corner!
If you don't have any particular love in your life, just play it off like you're planning a crazy Lunar New Year celebration on February 14th and had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day(even though you can't go anywhere without seeing roses for sale, bright red decorations, pink teddy bears, and delicious teeth-rotting love-themed chocolates & candies). It's party time, singles!
The year is 2010. The planet: Earth. (The calendar: Gregorian apparently)
The Internet has become self-aware and is rapidly taking over the world by means of friend requests and tweets.
Mankind has been given two primary options: Facebook & Twitter... except the catch is that there is only one true option: submit to the Internet
(just don't double-click Submit).
Advanced Internets in distant parts of the Universe are collaborating to introduce Earth's Internet into the universal network of
interplanetary Spacewebs, beaming data from galaxy to galaxy like a super fast dial-up modem... only way faster. In some cases your emails
may get bounced back to you before you even send them thanks to black holes and Spock manning the email server.
Global Warming has decided to take a vacation (bring back something cool!) while Water Shortages tap-dance their way to center stage.
Meanwhile, we R all Bcoming much smartR thx 2 txt MSGing & better at expressing our feelings digitally using smiley faces, emoticons, avatars,
and buddy icons. :)))
THAT BEING SAID, HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR, BADASS BUDDIES!!!!!
-end transmission
December 2009
Holiday Times!
Holidays: "hall uh daze" (n): time away from school, presents, free food... COUNT ME IN!
1. Get that last minute sheet-over-the-head ghost costume worked out so that you're mentally ready to accept gobs of candy from strangers.
2. Make sure everybody in your neighborhood is Tweeting on Halloween so that you can determine where the best candy is in the neighborhood in real time.
3. Go straight to the house that has the best candy, making sure to bring with you an empty pillow case, and strategically work your way back home hitting all the good spots, thereby minimizing time away from the PC.
Today we celebrate NINE YEARS of digital badassery. How will we celebrate nearly a decade of BadassBuddy antics? By staying up all night long chatting on the
Internet, of course! In honor of this memorable moment in history, we have added our first ever ANIMATED AVATARS which now work with
the brand new AIM 7™. ENJOY!!!
July 3, 2009
Happy 4th of July!
Barbecues, parades, and fireworks, OH MY! Have a wonderful Independence Day and long weekend, IM'ers!
May 29, 2009
Badass Flick for All Ages
Growing up in a Single Parent Family can be a lifelong struggle for both children and parents alike. In Tim VandeSteeg's 'My Run',
see how one man, Terry Hitchcock - a TRUE badass - ran 75 consecutive marathons in 75 consecutive days to let
single parent families know that they're not alone. Peep the preview here.
May 22, 2009
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
Fire up the grill and pay your respect to the badass military personnel who have sacrificed their lives to protect the USA!
February 8, 2009
Get Your Love On!
Valentine's Day is right around the corner so if you've got a sig-other, you'd better start figuring out what's going to make or break your
relationship on V-Day! And if you're single, embrace it! Love isn't always an easy walk in the park. Oftentimes it's more like a sketchy
drive down a steep mountain with unreliable breaks and a flat tire.
Smileys
Zwinkys!
